The Lord has been dealing with me recently and thankfully has not turned me over to my sin! He has shown me truths that I have read and heard before, but never integrated into my life (this is called ‘practical theology’ – not what we know, but what we live – sadly there is sometimes a large gap between the two).
All this time – even though I knew that God viewed me as righteous because of Christ – I never really lived that way. I always said, “I want to be better, or be more holy & righteous” so I would ‘try harder’ and it never worked. I would reprimand myself for not reading the Bible more, for not having an active prayer life, for still being angry, for all of my other sins. But all I was doing was following a checklist like assembling furniture. The problem was that I was working to earn righteousness, which I finally understand will never bring anything but failure. I am incapable of attaining righteousness by any work, no matter how ‘good’. It wasn’t until I confessed all of my sins, confessed how evil and wretched I am down to the very core - telling myself and others the truth about how worthless I am as a moral agent really opened the door to new life in Christ. Martin Luther said “Righteousness does not come through righteous acts, rather, righteous acts are borne from righteousness.” Now that I have totally ‘given up’ and am relying on Christ to be my righteousness, guess what? I have had devotional time with God nearly every day for the past two weeks. My wife and I pray nearly every night (real, honest prayer too), my desire for what I listen to has changed, my desires for what I view have changed – and get this – I have a desire for evangelism! I am coming close to being ready to live as Thomas a’Kempis said: “To live a spiritual life, you must be contented to be considered a fool in this world for Christ’s sake.” And it isn’t a task list – I simply don’t feel satisfied without them. It’s a 180 degree turn.
Hopefully, this is encouraging to you – because maybe you are like I was – asleep in light. I had more scriptural knowledge that I knew what to do with. I knew that I should have a desire to know God more intimately, to serve Him with all my heart, but I never really felt it or all of my best efforts never lasted because my heart just wasn’t in it. God had to show me that my efforts were failing because I still was unrepentant in several areas of my life; I had never fully turned over my entire essence to Him. Once I did that men - words cannot describe the change. How did this happen with me? I had to confess to God that I was still deliberately sinful. I confessed to my wife. I confessed to several other, important, accountable and Godly-minded men. Doing that forced me to get real. The truth will set you free!
1 comment:
Nathan, thank you for sharing very personal comments of your growth in the Lord. So many times, I too, have failed at the checklist- at the furniture assembly. Good ananlogy! Being guys, I think we want it to fall into place like that, step 1, step 2, step 3 and there we have it.... holiness. It is not like that. You described the process and the importance of accountability and the joy and freedom in Christ so well. I rejoice with you. I too am on that journey. I am being transformed by the renewing of my mind as I present myself to God daily - Romans 12:1-2. Scripture memory is so important to fight against the enemy. Use the Word of God and shove it right in his face. When I became (or am becoming) a man, I did away with childish things. I Cor 13:11. We must put those scriptures in our mind to recall them during the brief down times at work or where ever. The Holy Spirit will bring them to your mind but you have to have them in the data bank!
Lead, brother lead,
Philip Buford
Post a Comment